New Year, New Focus

I'm not the kind of person that makes New Year's resolutions.  Just because it's a new year, doesn't mean things are suddenly different and magical and you will suddenly have the willpower to change that flaw in your life.  Nor do I think that you have to wait until a certain date to begin a plan to better yourself.  You can start a plan just as easily on January 1 as on March 19 or August 22 or even November 5.  

While we were out Christmas shopping, I had mentioned to my sister how exhausted I was from all the stuff I had been doing lately.  Not things for myself, but things for other people.  She reminded me of something that I know, but keep ignoring. 

If you don't take care of yourself, 

how can you take care of those around you? 

Who knew that my baby sister could be so wise? 

Growing up, it was always stressed to me that in order to be happy, you needed to live a life where you put others needs above your own needs.  While I do believe that you do need to live a life that is not self-centered, unfortunately for me, I have let it go to the extreme and truly put my needs dead last.  I exhaust myself doing for others that I don't take care of myself and have let my life, my health, and my happiness wants and desires be put on hold for the benefit of others.  

I'm burnt out.   

I joke that I wish I was a rich celebrity so I could go stay at the spa for 30 days and get treated for exhaustion, but I'm almost at the point where that wish is slowly becoming a necessity.

Today, I am home sick with what feels like the head cold of death.  Everyone around me has it.  I didn't give myself permission to get it until after my sister's birthday party.  I took tons of vitamins and drank tea and stayed away from the general population and their diseases.  Her party was Saturday night.  By Sunday night, it finally caught up with me and I was done.

Instead of just laying in bed feeling crummy, I got up and got some bone broth started on the stove. I'm wrapped up in layers of warm clothing, resting with my dogs, drinking tons of fluids, taking cold medicine, and trying to not be mad that I'm sick. I'm going to take care of me, because my mom isn't here to do it for me. 

(Am I the only person who wants their mommy to take care of them when they are sick?  I suddenly feel 5 again and want comfort food, vics, and fresh sheets...)

Maybe this is just my body's way of saying enough.

I have noticed that over the past year, my immune system has dramatically improved.  I spent months eating very healthy, working on healing my gut and my food allergies, and my body in general.  I used to catch every single bug that went around, and have slowly been building up my system.  

But the past several weeks of overdoing it, not to mention the past couple weeks of holiday indulgences, have compromised it.    

I need to take care of myself.  If I don't, how can I take care of my husband, my dogs, my family, my friends and the rest of the world? 

As much as I hate resolutions, this year I resolve.... 

To become selfish.  

To learn to say no.  

To put my health and my needs first.  

To spend more time exercising and being active. 

To not stay complacent in my life and to constantly look for ways to challenge and better myself.  

To work on finishing my degree and reaching my goal of higher educations.  

To use the tools I've been given to heal my body and manage my food allergies and the other health challenges associated with that.  

To become a better me, so I can better take care of everyone else around me.