My Long Lost Love Affair with Baseball

In a yellow paged photo album hidden somewhere at my mom's house is a picture of me from when I was about 5 years old.  I'm standing in front of my Aunt and Uncle's roses with a giant grin on my face, and a new Gold and Green Oakland A's hat on my head.  

Baseball.  It used to be mine and my dads thing.  He grew up in Seattle, but the A's were his team.  My brother wasn't born until I was 7, so from birth to 7, I was Daddy's girl and did all the boy things with him, like go to the hardware store and watch the games together.  

Every year, when other little girls were going to tea parties and getting manicures for their birthday parties, we were going to baseball games. 

As I got older, my love for baseball grew.  I knew all the players and their stats.  I collected baseball cards.  I had pins and hats and posters and pennants all over my room.  

1989 World Series.  

Battle of the Bay.  

Bash Brothers.

It was an amazing year for Bay Area Baseball, despite the Earthquake.

Where was I during the earthquake?  

Making prank phone calls with a friend to a local grocery store. I didn't even feel it.

I was so jealous of all the kids you saw on TV at the playoffs and World Series games, but I was still glued to the TV.  How often does YOUR team go to the World Series?

Spoiler alert....the A's, not the Giants won that series. 

 

I was one happy little girl baseball fan. 

Then early 1991, my dad died very suddenly at age 33.  

Words cannot even describe how devastating that was. 

Some days, it's still so painful. 

 I tried to still watch baseball, but love I had for it...it was gone.  

Maybe I only loved it because it was something special I shared with my dad? 

Maybe I really loved it but the void of my dad not being there were too painful?

I love watching sports, I always have. 

I loved watching football (GO 49ers!!!) and Basketball (GO Kings!!!), but baseball just fell to the wayside. 

As I got older, I developed a bitter hatred of baseball.  I couldn't stand to watch it.  I never went to games.  I didn't even like to be around people who liked baseball.  Too many memories. It was a painful reminder that my baseball partner was gone forever.

Then I met Dave.  He played baseball all his life.  He grew up loving the Giants (rivalry relationship in the making?).  For a while he played softball, and I went to his games.  Once we went to an A's game with a group of his co-workers, but I tried to just act like the girl who hates sports and was just there for the beer. We never really watched baseball on TV.  Not sure if that's because of my negative attitude towards baseball or what.  So many of my friends love baseball.  I wanted to love it with them and go to games, but I just couldn't.  My heart wouldn't let me. 

If you know anything about me, you know that I would rather be given experiences and vacations rather than any material possessions.  Birthday and Christmas lists always include trips to Tahoe, Disneyland, or Paris...or experiences like BBQs at the beach, fancy restaurants, or concert tickets.  To me, a thing is nice, but memories last forever.  I know I'm crazy, but hotel reservations get me more excited than jewelry boxes, hahaha!  

(Not that I'm discouraging jewelry boxes whatsoever...Keep them coming!)

So this year, Dave surprised me with tickets to the A's Giants game for my birthday.  Luxury suite tickets, complete with beer and food and sodas.  So cool!

I quietly mentioned how my dad used to take me to the game all the time for my birthday, and I think he felt a little bad.  I don't think i really ever mentioned it.  It was just one of those painful memories that I kept locked deep down in the basement of my heart.  

Did I still want to go?  It was ok if I didn't.  

No, I want to go.  I can't keep living my life like this.  I need to face things instead of keeping them buried.  It's time to start making new memories and enjoying life.  

We went to the game and I had so much fun!  We sat in the suite that we shared with a family.  It was so cute to see the little girls all dressed up in the team gear and stuffing themselves with way too many sodas and hot dogs. It was defiantly an amazing baseball experience, and we had our own private bathroom and our suite had a host who took care of anything we needed!

It was such an emotional night for me.  So many memories at that park.  I did my best not to cry, but I shed a few tears.  Happy tears.  Sad tears.  Healing tears.  

I could do it.  I could enjoy baseball again.  It's not the same, but it's a new chapter of my life, and a new and different way to enjoy it. 

It's different because as much as I was an A's fan in the past, I decided that it is something that needs to stay in my past.  Those memories are in a cherished part of my heart that I want to keep there forever.  I don't want to add to them.  New chapter of my life, new team, new memories.  

We went to a couple more Giants games in the regular season, including the awesome Star Wars Day! Every time, I had so much fun, and I fell in love with baseball all over again.

We were lucky enough to be chosen in the ticket lottery to buy tickets to game 6 of the NLCS.  It had always been a dream to go to a post season ever since watching the 1989 season.  I was so excited.  I was like a kid going to Disneyland for the first time!  

The morning of the game, I packed enough jackets, scarves, and gloves to clothe a small country.  Going to games in the bay area can be so unpredictable.  One minute is sunny and 75* and the next minute the fog rolls in, the wind picks up, and it starts misting.  Bay Area cold is so COLD.  

The drive to the game was pretty uneventful, and just a little bit of traffic.  There was a chance of rain, but the sky couldn't make up it's mind.

We tailgated for a bit before the game.  Nothing crazy.  No grills and tents and seating for 20.  Just the two of us and a cooler and some foods I could eat without getting sick.  

GF Pumpkin Cider

Quinoa Edamame Salad from the Deli...so good I'm going to make my own knock off recipe

We got to the game just after the gates had opened.  The crowd was a little bit more mellow than I had anticipated.  I think everyone was scared because this was a do or die game.  

I saw this shirt and knew that my girlfriend needed it.  

Saying that she has a crush on him is a drastic understatement.  

We got the orange towels before the game.  You should have seen the cloud of orange lint flying around the stadium when people first started waving them.  

We got to our seats, and had a great view of the field, the stadium, and the bay. 

We may not have been at field level, but at least we could see the entire field!

A close-up of the Post Season Symbol on the Field!

For the National Anthem, they brought out a giant flag that covered much of the field.  It was so beautiful and totally gave me chills, and brought tears to my eyes. 

Earlier I had told Dave how cool it would be if Metallica sang at the game.  I didn't get my wish, but James Hetfield, lead singer of Metallica, came out on the field and got the fans excited and called "Play Ball."  

IT.WAS.AWESOME.

The fans really got into the game.  There was a guy with a giant mohawk that he dyed orange and black.  Everyone was wearing Giants gear and orange and black, except for 4 lonely Cardinals fans sitting a few rows in front of us.  The atmosphere was electrifying.  It was everything I had hoped it would be.

A tiny, adorable fan!!!

Sunset is so beautiful in San Francisco!

"I'll be sittin' when the evenin' come
Watching the ships roll in
And then I watch 'em roll away again"

San Francisco fog rolling down over the top of the stadium

The Giants won.  The crowd was nuts!  And of course, they played one of the best songs ever, just like they do after every game.  I love that song.  It reminds me of my Grandma who grew up in Marin County, and walked the Golden Gate Bridge the day it opened, and adores Tony Bennett and always played him when my mom was a kid and still to this day.  

When we left, all the palm trees were wrapped in orange lights.  We saw the news interviewing people and someone was holding a sign that said JOE BUCK SUCKS. 

(YES HE DOES)  

I'm so glad to have baseball back in my life.  It's really healed a dark part of my heart. 

To me, it's like hanging out with your best friend from second grade after 20 years of losing contact with them.  It's the same in many ways, but so very very different, but in a good way.

I'm really excited for next season!  Opening day at AT&T park.  Can't wait!

These Are My Confessions

I have some confessions to make.  No, not these kind of confessions...but I do feel really guilty like I've been cheating on myself and my health...

Ever since our last trip to Tahoe, I haven't been 100% following my diet, and eating foods that I shouldn't be.  Not at every meal, not all the time.  Just little bits here and there. I have successfully added some foods back into my diet, but some things, like wheat, dairy and spicy foods, just don't agree with me.   

Like the time I had a cupcake sized cheesecake...

Or the time Dave and I split the nachos at Freebirds...

I didn't feel terrible each time after I ate one of these things, so I guessed that I would be ok if I was having these things occasionally, as long as they weren't part of my everyday diet.  

Over the past few days, I've noticed my energy levels were down.  My joints were hurting.  My pants were tighter.  I was stuffy.  I was PMSing badly.  Colds and flus are going around the office now that school is back in session and I was sure that I just had a touch of whatever everyone else had on top of just being a bloated, emotional woman.  

Last week was our anniversary and we took a little getaway back to Tahoe.  This time we rented a vacation house.  It was adorable and bits of it reminded me of my grandparent's house in Washington. 

The morning was nice and chilly, so Dave got us Starbucks (yay soy milk Pumpkin Spice Latte) while I cooked us a healthy breakfast of sweet potatoes, eggs, and pastured bacon.  We needed a hearty breakfast so we could go hiking later that morning.  

We drove over to Heavenly so we could do the last hiking of the season.  The calendar says it's fall, but the weather and the trees just aren't cooperating just yet.  I did find one tree that had changed colors, but it was right next to a perfectly green tree.  

I realized I forgot my hat and we stopped off at the ski shop to find one.  Isn't it so cute?  

I looked inside the hat, and noticed it had a saying inside.  I read it and just hung my head and sighed deeply.  Another random sign from the universe...a gentle reminder that I need to be pursuing what I love...and I'm not where I'm supposed to be.  

Yes, I already have makeup sweat on it.  Ugh!

We got on the Gondola and stopped off at the lookout point.  The weather was beautiful and there was a slight breeze.  Perfect for hiking. 

The sun hiding behind the fluffy clouds. 

Our traditional "hold-the-camera-out-in-front-of-you-and -take -our -own-picture" picture

Last trip, we hiked up the California side of the mountain, so this time we decided to hike up the Nevada side.  It was getting pretty warm outside, and I was having difficulty adjusting to the altitude.  My joints were hurting and I just wanted to give up a couple minutes after we started.  

               

The views overlooking Carson Valley were amazing.  I love hiking because you get to see some of the most beautiful places that you would never get to see otherwise.  

We kept on going up the trail and it was a struggle.  I was breathing hard, I was hurting, and I was exhausted.  This was so different from how I felt at our last hike up here.  Sure, it was hard, but I felt great, had great energy, and just loved it!

I was so mad at myself.  I had been doing so good.  I started feeling better, so I got too bold and felt like I could go back to eating things I normally did.  I was still being generally healthy, but I was eating small quantities of wheat and dairy and other foods here and there and it was slowly slipping me back into an unhealthy state.  

Dave was so sweet and kept asking if I was ok, if we needed to rest, or if we needed to turn around.  I was near tears.  How could I do this to myself?  I was doing so well and in a few weeks, I'm almost back were I started?  

One thing that may or may not be a good quality about me is that I'm pretty stubborn.  Today, my stubbornness was a good thing because I wouldn't give up.  I wouldn't stop.  I couldn't give up and admit defeat.  I kept on going.  

I took a picture at the end of the trail just to prove I finished.  I was tired.  I was sore.  It hurt to breathe. But I finished.  It wasn't a long hike, but it was a steep hike and the elevation kills me since where I live is practically sea level.  

After I sat down for a bit and caught my breath and drank some water, I  felt a little better and promised myself to not let this happen again.  I need to get my focus back and not be such a baby on missing out on food.  I need to not cheat on my health.  

I saw this sign on the way back, and it made me happy!  

We were hungry after our hike and instead of stopping somewhere and getting some junk food, we headed over to Sprouts and had a healthy light lunch and some fresh juice.  Fresh juice instantly makes me feel better.  As soon as I start drinking it, I feel refreshed and nourished.  

Sprouts is a cool little hippie vegetarian cafe that serves amazing, healthy food.  I wish there was a place like that where I live.  

I busted up laughing when I saw this on the wall at Sprouts.  

The next day, at the suggestion from a Heavenly employee, we headed over to the Visitor's Center to see the salmon spawning at Taylor Creek.  

It was another picture perfect day.  I was a little relieved that this ended up to be more of a walk than a hike.

There was some really interesting educational signs all along our walk talking about the Tahoe area and the wildlife.  It was sad to learn that after these fish spawn, they die.  

We kept seeing signs warning us about bears in the area, but sadly we didn't have the privilege of seeing any fishing bears.  

We made it to Taylor Creek to see the salmon.  The water was so clear and all you could see were hundreds of red salmon trying to swim upstream.  

After our little walk, we stopped at the Beacon, a cute little bar and restaurant on the lake.  I was good and avoided ordering anything I shouldn't eat.  They had amazing Rum Runners, and I think everyone should go drink them by the dozens (responsibly, of course!)

Later that night we went back to Heavenly village and had dinner.  Once again, I ate appropriately.  After dinner, we sat outside by the fireplaces and had an after dinner drink.   

We came home, refreshed, and I came home with a new perspective. I am attempting to participate in the October Unprocessed Challenge.  For me, it's much more than just a challenge to eat better, it's a necessity to feel better.  I already eat a healthy diet, I just need to remember that a night out, a vacation, or a fun event is no excuse to stray away from healing my body and feeling better.  

Happy Anniversary!!!!

 

9 years ago today. 

Feels like yesterday and a million years ago all at once. 

My only regret is that we didn't meet sooner because a lifetime 10 lifetimes eternity isn't enough time to love you.