Beach Love

One of my favorite loves is the ocean. 

My Mom loves the ocean.  

My Grandma loves the ocean.

It's in my family's blood to love the ocean. 

I spent so much of my childhood at the ocean (or some other body of water).  

Camping. 

Fishing.

Swimming. 

Spending time with family and friends. 

As much as I hated it as a teenager, what I wouldn't give to spending carefree days waking up to the smell of coffee by the campfire.  Going poke hole fishing at low tide.  Spending the afternoons climbing the cliffs or trying to get lost in the campground.  Eating family feasts of fresh fish, abalone, and s'mores.  

There is something about the ocean that just makes everything in your life right.  All your cares get swept out with the current. 

A few weeks before I met Dave, I was having a pretty rough time in my life.  I was overwhelmed and unhappy with every facet of my life.  I called in sick to work one day, made my way to the ocean and sat on a rock for hours just staring as the waves crashed onto the beach.  Major life decisions were made that day.  I came home and quit my job, dumped the old boyfriend, stopped looking for love, and started living my life for me instead of for everyone else. 

Less than three months later, I met the man who would soon become my husband.

It really is true that once you stop looking for love, it will find you. 

The past few months have been a big change for me.  Going from feeling sick all the time, to almost always feeling great.  Making major changes in my diet to work on healing my gut and hopefully overcoming many of my food allergies and intolerance. Being able to do things that I haven't done in years...or ever. Being virtually pain free.

People come up to me and assume that this has been such an easy change for me because I always feel so great and how they wish they had my willpower.  

It hasn't been easy.  It's been really rough.

I have no willpower.  I was just really sick and this was the only way to get better.  You can't break your leg and expect it to magically get better. To me its been no different than having to wear a cast to heal your broken leg. Now, my cast if off, and I'm in the clunky blue boot phase.  Almost healed, but a long ways to go.

Making such a major change in your life is never easy, even if it's exactly and even more than you ever wanted and dreamed it could be. 

I miss going out to dinner.  

I miss going away for the weekend and not worrying about planning everything around what I can eat. 

I miss mac n cheese and cupcakes.

 I don't miss feeling terrible all the time, and I'm adjusting pretty well, and actually eating some foods that were on my list and not feeling sick.

I love the challenge of trying to make foods that hubby will love that are "safe" for me to eat.

But I'm still overwhelmed and some days are just rough.

(yes, I know it's *just* food. I never realized how food-centric our entire culture is until it was taken away)

So when Lo said she needed a beach day and asked if I wanted to come, I said yes.  I had a million things I needed to be doing instead, but I needed a beach day too. 

Because I get horrible motion sickness out on Highway 1 and all the roads that take you out there, I requested to go to a San Francisco Beach.  No windy, narrow roads in sight. 

We had a great adventure.  

I found some food I could eat at an amazing deli-bakery. 

I got to see my little sis for a few minutes when we surprised her at her work!

We sat on the beach taking in the natural beauty as well as the man-made beauty that is the Golden Gate Bridge.

Even though I physically refused to get in the icy cold water, the salt water cleansed my soul of every care, every worry. 

I was ready to get back to life.